


we are meant to be

by perhapssoon



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Colors, Depression, M/M, Soulmate AU, Suicide Attempt, alex is concerned, john's parents are homophobic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 17:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13528890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perhapssoon/pseuds/perhapssoon
Summary: Alexander meets his soulmate in the mental room they both share. Colors define their lives.





	we are meant to be

**Author's Note:**

> Starts off happy, ends in angst and happiness at the same time.

Alexander was in class when it happened.

His teacher was lecturing the class on proper writing skills, and as Alexander was already a proficient writer, he found himself zoning out. And the next thing he knew, he was in a featureless room bathed in a pale light. There was another boy in the room, and when Alexander got closer to investigate, he saw the other’s freckles, curly hair, and bright eyes, which only grew brighter when he spotted Alexander.

“Who’re you?” the boy asked, grinning and shoving his hands into his pockets.

Alexander scrutinized the boy. Most likely, he didn’t know why he was here, so asking him the same question in direct response wouldn’t amount for anything.

“I’m Alexander Hamilton,” he replied. “What about you?”

“John Laurens,” was the answer.

“Do you know why we’re here?” Alexander asked.

John just shook his head, eyes never straying from Alexander’s own, which the latter surprisingly found comfortable.

“I’ll probably have to ask my mom about this,” John said, suddenly looking slightly sheepish. "Sorry.“

Alexander shrugged. 'It’s fine,” he said, understanding why John had apologized, but still unsure of how he knew.

The two sat in silence for a while, before Alexander remembered that he was technically still in school at the moment.

“I gotta go,” he said. “We’re having a lecture in class."John nodded. "Maybe I should go too. Mom will get worried.”

As if the room read their thoughts, a door appeared in one of the walls, colored a darker shade than the rest of the room.

John exited first, Alexander watching him disappear into the white fog, before following. He found himself in the classroom once more, the lecture still underway. A glance at the clock confirmed that while he had been in the room, only a few seconds had passed.

After class, he told his partial-friend – Alexander refused to call him his friend – , Thomas Jefferson, what had happened. The taller boy took the information silently, and when Alexander was done, he said a single word before leaving, “soulmates.” Alexander did the same thing with that word as he did with all of his research projects: take it to the library.

He found shelves and shelves of books on the topic of soulmates, and after reading a few of them, discovered that John was supposed to be his soulmate, and that they shared a mental space from each other’s mind. The books had also said that he should be able to access the room voluntarily, so he closed his eyes and concentrated.

He didn’t know exactly how he did it; there was a small, unexplainable presence in the back of his mind, and as he mentally probed it, it widened into the featureless room once more.

John wasn’t in the room this time, but Alexander remembered reading that a person’s soulmate should be able to recognize whenever their other half was in the mental room.

And sure enough, a shadow of an outline appeared in the corner, slowly filling in shape and color until John’s familiar smile was right before him.

“Hey,” John greeted him cheerfully. “I talked to my mom; we’re soulmates apparently.”

Alexander nodded. "Yeah, I looked it up in the library.“

"Cool,” John sent Alexander another smile and Alexander felt his heart flutter.“So how does this room work?” Alexander asked. “Did your mom say anything about that? Because I didn’t finish my research.”

John shook his head. "She said something about the colors of the room signifying dangers or strong emotions your soulmate is experiencing. Nothing else.“

Alexander nodded. Then another thought struck him. "Where are you? Maybe we could meet up someday. I’m in New York City.”

“Charleston, South Carolina,” John responded. "So, not that far. My parents are thinking of moving to New York in a few years, though.“

Alexander felt a spark of hope. "Really? That’s great.”

John made a ‘hmm’ sound in agreement. "You know what?“

"Yeah?”

“We should use this room to get to know each other and whatnot!” John exclaimed. “Doesn’t that sound good?”

Alexander could find no faults in John’s suggestion, so the boys made a plan to use the room at least once every three days for an hour in order to figure things out. And so, over the months, Alexander learned more about someone than he ever had before. He learned that John’s favorite animal was a turtle (he owned three), his favorite thing to do was draw, and his dream was to explore the world. Alexander, in turn, revealed most of his own life, but pretty much all of the info they shared with each other, they somehow already knew.

“It’s probably like a side effect of being soulmates,” John suggested.

Alexander agreed because honestly, he couldn’t find it in him to argue with John. They told each other their secrets, and the troubles they had at school and home. John’s parents were somewhat homophobic, so he had lied and said that his soulmate was a girl named Alex (the room turned a deep green). Alexander had gotten into a fight with Thomas, breaking off the friendship and now the two were bitter enemies (the room was bright red that day).

Both had agreed that they allowed each other to date different people because they wouldn’t be meeting in a long time. Alexander had found a bisexual girl named Eliza to date and John had started a relationship with another guy. But neither of the relationships worked out because the pairs weren’t soulmates (the room turned orange).

John came to the mental room the next day to say that his parents had decided to move to New York earlier than planned so they would be seeing each other really soon. Alexander couldn’t wait (the room was yellow that day).

But then, John stopped meeting Alexander. Days turned into weeks and John still hadn’t shown up. Alexander started getting worried. He didn’t know how to contact John other than the mental space because the two never shared addresses.

Two months after John’s disappearance, the room turned a dark red.

Pain.

Alexander was besides himself with worry, refusing to eat or drink, until his lab partner in science, Samuel Seabury (someone he didn’t always get along with) forced him to eat lunch that day. Seabury seemed to understand what Alexander was going through (Alexander knew he also had a rather troubling relationship with his soulmate) but he didn’t suggest anything that was possible within Alexander’s power. Alexander was on his own now, in the most inconvenient situation possible.

Three days later, John reappeared back in the mental room. The room was still dark red, and Alexander was both relieved and terrified at the same time.

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” John said softly. “I’m okay.”

Alexander shook his head so violently, it hurt. “No, you’re not. What happened?”

John was silent for a moment before taking a pained breath, eyes fixed on the ground: “My parents found out.”

“That you’re gay?”

“Yeah. I guess parents find out about everything, but I don’t-” John stopped for a moment and then continued. “I don’t understand why they have to be so close-minded.”

Alexander was well aware that John was avoiding the subject. “John. What. Happened.”

John raised his head to stare at Alexander directly in the eyes. “I got disowned.”

The room turned dark blue.

Alexander couldn’t breathe. John was disowned? That couldn’t be it. “What else?”

“I have depression. I tried to kill myself a few days ago.”

“John…” the other boy’s name was said quietly, pleadingly. John watched his soulmate for a while before saying, “I’m fine now.”

The room turned green. John was lying.

Alexander was not a psychologist. He couldn’t help with depression the way most people expected him to. So he did the only thing he could.

Taking two steps toward John, Alexander took his face in his hands and kissed him. John didn’t kiss back for a moment and Alexander wondered if he did the wrong thing, but then the other boy responded by wrapping his arms around Alexander’s body and returning the kiss.

The two stayed like that until they couldn’t breathe. Gasping for air, they pulled apart.

The room was a deep red. Love.

John was smiling slightly. “I can still come to New York.”

Alexander grabbed his hands, nearly giddy with joy. “Please do.”

A week later, John Laurens arrived in New York City, with Alexander Hamilton waiting for him at the airport. Those who were there said that they saw the two greet each other with a hug and kiss and walked hand in hand to the exit.

The room stayed red for a long time.


End file.
